What Jennette McCurdy’s “I’m Glad My Mom Died” can teach us about different forms of grief

By Emmett Roman
Staff Reporter

Just a heads-up, readers: This article contains discussions of abusive families and eating disorders. Please take care of yourself, and reach out when in need of help. LCC offers free mental health counseling for students. Additional resources for those struggling with eating disorders include the Renfrew Center and the National Eating Disorders Association. 

This January, I was scrolling through the Target aisles trying to find a new book to read for 2026. That was when I stumbled upon “I’m Glad My Mom Died,” by Jennette McCurdy. This was a book that I had wanted to read for quite some time, but never had the chance to. Little did I know, it would teach me an important lesson about grief, manipulation, self-identity and more.

The book opened with McCurdy being next to her mother on her death bed. She stated the line “It’s strange how we always give big news to loved ones in a coma,” which pulled my attention immediately. From here, the novel propels the reader into McCurdy’s life leading up to her mother’s death.

Her life was rough growing up. From the age of two, her mother propelled her into stardom through acting—despite McCurdy’s dream to be a writer—by making her do several commercials or background gigs. On top of that, her mother kept a strict eye on her weight and controlled her diet, having her go entire days with only a light salad for nourishment. She also made sure she had total say about how McCurdy looked, from her clothes to her hair. One of the most uncomfortable and inappropriate parts about this control was that McCurdy—until she moved out—was never allowed to shower without her mother’s help.  

McCurdy found space to momentarily escape her mother’s watchful eye through church. She grew up in a Mormon family and attended a Latter-Day Saints church every Sunday.

Unfortunately, that escape would come to an end soon. After years of landing small acting roles and working with different acting coaches, McCurdy finally landed her breakout role on Nickelodeon as Sam Bucket in iCarly when she was a teenager. With her newfound success and demanding film schedule, her mother would often make excuses to no longer have the family attend church services. McCurdy stating that she started to become unimpressed by people, even irritated with them, leading to a deepened struggle with her mental health.

Due to McCurdy being known for this role, she no longer had the normal teenage life of getting ice cream with her family or going to the grocery store. No matter where she went, she was always recognized. Random fans would ask her about fried chicken (a common joke her character had in the show) and even more weird questions, and they would ask to take pictures with her.

One of her escapes was her costar, Miranda Cosgrove. Cosgrove and McCurdy became fast friends not only on screen, but also in person. Their friendship developed through texting each other after work through MySpace. These interactions were some of the only “typical” teenager experiences McCurdy would get.

As McCurdy grew into adulthood, leaving Nickelodeon behind, her mother still wanted total control over her and her career. When McCurdy moved out into her own space, her mother wanted to follow her, spending several weeks “sleeping over” without giving her much choice over the matter.

McCurdy ended up meeting a guy. He encouraged her to start going to therapy, which she did. However, she had to keep him in the dark from her mother. Her biggest fear was her mother calling her names or making her feel bad for dating a boy.

However, that secret didn’t last for long. In her novel, McCurdy describes going on a vacation with her boyfriend at the time, and the paparazzi photographed her and her boyfriend out together. After hearing this news, her mother went ballistic. She began to call her horrible things such as a slut, floozy and “all used up”—even stating that she was “no longer her mother.”

The toll of her mother’s words sparked her to discuss it with her therapist, who told McCurdy that she was being abused. McCurdy had been battling with anorexia and bulimia since she was 11. It was making her extremely unhealthy and causing her boyfriend to worry. She had been limiting her food since she was a child, due to her mother’s control. She would throw up her food after every meal so she could “be full but not gain weight.” But now her therapist made McCurdy consider that her mom was actually harming her rather than helping her. Her eating disorders spiraled out of control as a result, because McCurdy was torn between her love for her mother and this newfound realization that her mother was abusing her.

She stopped therapy all together. She no longer wanted to get better. Instead, she didn’t care if she was unhealthy and sick.  

When McCurdy’s mother died, she was devastated and decided it was time to attend therapy again. There, she began to realize all of the emotional abuse and physical abuse her mother had caused her.

Up to this point, she had always held her mother up on a pedestal. She had never viewed their relationship as toxic. To her, her mother only wanted what was best for her. As she uncovered the truth about her mother through her therapy sessions, she realized that maybe her mother being gone wasn’t so bad.

Through this therapy, McCurdy was able to get her life back on track. After her mother died, McCurdy had begun overconsuming alcohol to cope. As she continued her therapy, she began to be able to deal with her alcoholism, obsessive compulsion disorder and anorexia. After addressing her past, she was finally able to recover, which lead her to writing her bestseller, “I’m Glad My Mom Died.”

But what is the takeaway from this book? Well, it is that grief is complex. As said by LCC Counselor Jim Owens, “Loss takes many forms, from the death of a loved one, to the end of a relationship, to a major life transition, and its impact doesn't follow a predictable pattern.”

One way that LCC helps students overcome grief is through counseling, similar to McCurdy’s. “While we tailor our approach to each student's unique needs, grief counseling generally focuses on three things: helping students move through the initial shock of loss, rebuilding emotional stability, and ultimately making meaning of the experience in a way that allows them to move forward,” Owens said.

So, we should all look at McCurdy’s story not simply as trauma, but as an example that everyone can overcome grief, manipulation, abuse and more.